just another girl who passed by you

Riiiiight....

2009-04-07T13:11:00.002+08:00

And this, my gahment believes, will make me remember to be courteous.

Yeah, sure.

and here it comes...

2009-02-27T08:56:00.007+08:00

apparently the results for the test here are released over the whole week, with level 1 getting their results early this week and level 4 getting theirs today.

since mine was level 3, mine came yesterday. (i knew because i was lurking at a forum where people were opening their envelopes in front of the computer.) unfortunately, i had my ballet class, so i only could get my grubby hands on it at 10pm.

now, i knew for sure i was going to pass. so now it was just a matter of knowing how well i passed. my aim was 350. i thought i might miss it by a few marks.

(guest appearance by moyashimon stickers)

the envelope. i was tearing it open the moment i got into the house, shaking it to get the results slip out.

there was a huge silent scream moment. full marks for listening? are you sure? ARE YOU SURE? (my sis asked the same question, though the nuances might have been different LOL.)

damn. i was planning to give myself a 40 point berth for level 2. so that means...i have to get 346?! muri da...

now what?

2009-02-22T01:05:00.002+08:00

bad economy = difficulty in finding job. i have one for another 4 months but after that, i might have trouble feeding myself, let alone save another few more thousands.

i'm now trying to survive on less than $500 per month, with the bulk of my salary going into my japan funds. even though that's not going to be enough. before buying anything, i ask myself if it was more necessary than another day's rent in japan.

i'm also spending $200 per month on japanese classes in preparation. this is something i can't save on, since theoretically, it will help me save money by ensuring i get put in a higher level class when i do get there.

so now what? there really isn't an answer, is there?

updates

2009-02-03T11:33:00.003+08:00

well, they sent me a nice note saying they didn't want me, which is not entirely unexpected. i wouldn't want me too.

that said, i am now in need of 20 thousand dollars so that i can go by myself. which would probably be more interesting.

since this year is supposed to be a very lucky year for me, *tilts head upwards* rain some cash down on me this year, willya!

新年あけましておめでとうございます！

2009-01-01T01:07:00.004+08:00

金曜日から仕事を始める。
ちょっと嫌いけど、お金が要るから。。。
今年日本へ行けるか？　知らないね。。。

まあ、何とかなるさ。。。
今年もよろしくおねがいします！

I start work on Friday.
I don't really like it, but I need the money.
Can I go to Japan this year? I don't know.

Well, it'll be fine somehow.
Please take care of me this year too!

trying to break a bad habit (or really not really trying that hard...)

2008-12-27T03:24:00.003+08:00

yes, too much free time on my hands have resulted in me having an extremely bad habit of staying up all night watching JE.

it's...well, look, the internet is only really fast in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep and for some strange reason i only find the really interesting stuff after 11pm and by the way, the boys are really more funny when they were juniors and...

it's at times like this that i realize why people have jobs (besides the money).

it makes you sleep at reasonable hours.

(tomorrow, my sis is going to get a surprise when she realizes what i was watching all night tonight. hehe.)

最近寝ないから。。。

2008-12-23T01:01:00.002+08:00

最近新しい計画がある。私は教師より、生徒になりたい。
お金がないので、今行けなくて、本当に悲しい(T_T)。
そうして、今働かなきゃ、貯金もしなきゃならない。
たぶん、２０１０年か２０１１年か行けるね？
ちゃんと祈っている！
神様、お願い～～

ああ、今おなががすいた！

終わった！

2008-12-07T23:11:00.002+08:00

テストを終わった！でもますぐにPre-advancedの授業を始めます。
私は日本語が上手になりたい。本当に、本当に。

next phase of my life

2008-11-25T18:10:00.002+08:00

well, the application has been sent and is completely out of my hands. we shall know next february.

meanwhile, preparation for the JLPT is now ongoing, full speed ahead. my aim is not just to pass but pass in the high 300s, hopefully 350 and above.

and i realize how much i really love the japanese language. maybe even more than my mother tongue.

(does that have anything to do with the japanese boys i follow (so much cuter than the local ones), or the japanese dramas i watch (let's not even compare)?)

not here

2008-11-06T17:14:00.002+08:00

presently, i am either

1) panicking over my statement of purpose;
2) panicking over my impending JLPT exam; or
3) rotting my brain watching various JE boys who may or may not be able to act.

take your pick.

*hangs out busy sign*

ただいま！

2008-10-31T17:15:00.003+08:00

ただいま！

台湾から帰った！旅行が本当に楽しいね！(^o^)

毎日おいしい食べ物を食べた、太るようになるか？( 一一)

いやだ～～

(the more i study japanese, the more i'm learning that the language is closely tied to the culture. there are certain things which the japanese will not say, and therefore, some statements in english have no equivalents.

i don't know how or when or where, but i want to learn more. one day, i will make my way there...)

絵文字です！(^o^)丿

2008-10-19T00:38:00.003+08:00

（アｧｧ｡｡｡やった！絵文字の入れ方わかった！(^O^)／）

最近毎日JEの番組を見てる。カッコイイ男の子を見つかえたから、古いＹａ３とＳＣを探してる。　

（恥ずかしいね～～（*^_^*））

よく日本語を聞く、それはいいでしょう？

でも、男の子の話し方はちょっと習ったんけど、だめですよ。(^_^;)

ちょっと注意しなければいけませんね。。。

日本語大好き！

2008-10-14T20:14:00.003+08:00

今日先生はいいコメンをくれた。「先に勉強しましたか？　Intermediate　1 はほとんどわかります」と言った。

（実は今勉強している文法、私もう初めて勉強するよ！）

毎日ドラマを見たり、本と雑誌を読んだりしたら、日本語がだんだん上手になった。

でも、聴解と会話がまだね。。。

(for you, so you don't have to use babelfish)

i had a great comment from my teacher today. "have you studied this before? you can understand most of intermediate 1."

(actually, the grammar we are learning now, i'm learning for the first time too!)

by watching dramas, reading books and magazines every day, my japanese is improving gradually.

but, my listening and conversation are still...

it might have been better to leave well alone

2008-10-04T01:11:00.004+08:00

with the help of a few helpful sites, i have had the chance to catch drama after drama without much of a pause.

i watched some good ones, some bleargh ones and a couple of "what crack was i on when i wasted 3 days of my life watching this"?

my sis is a pretty good filter. she does a lot more research and had actually watched most of them herself. some shows she pans, usually due to crap acting or plot.

sometimes i watch them myself to be convinced of it. right now, i'm being scared ****less by the winner of the 57th television drama academy award best supporting male actor.

and i'm writing this down now because i'm trying to figure out if there's something wrong with me that i think he's horrifying scary and amazingly hot in his suits at the same time.

i'm stuck between wanting to slap the crap out of him and jumping on him.

how the heck did you get so good at being a psycho, ryo?

i am just too weak

2008-10-03T18:22:00.006+08:00

if there's one thing i suffer from, it's my weakness to influences from my younger sister.

she was the one who started reading manga and watching anime. i followed.

she cosplayed. i joined in.

she studied japanese. so did i.

then she got into j-dramas, specifically those starring johnnys. i resisted for a long time, before succumbing briefly to the saccharine-sweet cavity-inducing crack known as proposal daisakusen. for most of the run, she waited for me to get home on tuesday nights so that we could both watch the subbed episodes. (it ran on japanese tv on mondays.)

we had a lot of fun swearing at the lead character. when the run ended, so did my interest in j-dramas (except for a slight continuing interest in the lead actor known as "yamapi").

she continued her obsession with the boys. the rest of the family rolled our eyes as she continued to giggle to herself every night as she got her fix. at times she would share her joy with me, where i would watch politely, laugh a little, and forget all about it.

then one day she said she was going to watch kurosagi the movie (with yamapi in the lead) and i decided to go with her and sat down with the drama box set to finish it in 2 days before going with her to watch the movie.

and continuing that with finishing nobuta wo produce in 3 days.

and somewhere along the line starting to watch all the NEWS clips in crunchyroll.

and suddenly being able to identify all of the boys in the group.

and out of the blue, giggling to myself as i watch a particularly funny clip.

and mentioning it to her to suddenly get a complete education in johnnys with her suggestions on which clips i HAD to watch.

now i have all the NEWS albums in my mp3 player, i have watched more dramas than i ever imagined i would actually be able to sit through...and i can tell most of the bands apart. a couple of times, i even got to tell her and show her some clips she missed.

...

i seriously scare myself.

i draw the line at buying any je products. may lighting strike me before i do. >.<

忘れた！

2008-10-01T19:30:00.002+08:00

日記の書くことを忘れた！

文法は本当に難しいよ。

会話の練習が要る。

でも、だれと練習する？

練習します！

2008-09-22T18:33:00.007+08:00

私は日本語を練習したいですが、今日から毎週に二回ぐらい日本語で書くん。

でも、言葉があまり知っていないんですが、ちょっと難しいね。。。

アァァァ、もう習う、もうわからないんです！

working hard...

2008-09-04T21:18:00.004+08:00

毎日日本語を勉強しますから、疲れています.

でも、クラスは本当におもしろいですが、頑張らなければなりませんよ！

宿題を書きに行きます！

strangely sad

2008-08-11T14:57:00.002+08:00

maybe it's not so strange.

after all, i did invest 2.5 years of my life here. that's a huge chunk of my working life.

i will miss it.

i will miss knowing my clients so well that i can learn to anticipate their requests.

i will miss solving problems with my colleagues, brainstorming to find out the best way to deal with a tricky request.

i will miss my corner in the office.

i will miss my colleagues and all that we shared.

and here i was thinking that it was the men who asked for too much...

2008-08-01T14:49:00.002+08:00

my government wants people to have more babies.

they want more women to be back in the workforce.

they also want us to tighten our belts and realize that salaries will never match inflation.

so i was wrong. it's not the men.

it's just my government.

happy national day in advance, everyone.

battle of the bulge round 5655989586

2008-07-31T12:17:00.002+08:00

i swear, there is nothing worse than getting on the weighing scale and seeing a 1.5kg jump.

water retention, probably, but it irks me, because i constantly weigh my worth by the number on my scale.

it doesn't help that i have an extremely screwed-up digestive system that kills me on an almost daily basis.

it's a self esteem problem.

indulging my inner fangirl

2008-07-23T11:28:00.004+08:00

recently i've been obsessing over something. it has led me to spend hours every night on the computer, giggling like a schoolgirl, swooning like a mills & boon heroine and wibbling like a completely starstruck moron.

i had been the fan of sytycd when the first season was broadcasted here in...was it 2006? i remember rushing to the gym after work on mondays and aiming straight for the threadmill right in front of the monitor showing channel 5...and being really pissed off the one week some idiot got there before me. (he got the evil eye from me that night.) i would suffer through the static on the receiver just to hear the music that they dance to (and switch it off when it's some boring stuff...like hip hop. ew). of course, now, i only have some fleeting memories of nick's spins and melody's high extensions (also apparently known as HMVs. don't ask.)

yet, i didn't have any interest in it for season 2 and beyond hok's unceremonious exit in vegas due to his visa problems, i have no remembrance of it whatsoever. (benji who?)

then season 3 started showing here. i wasn't going to watch (i didn't even know they were showing it), except that my colleague and friend started to gasp in excitement about it to me, seeing that i'm a dancer, so to join in the discussion, i started to watch it online. except i made a mistake and watched the season 4 auditions, which got me hooked. (please go google danielle chorizo. especially if you watched season 2.)

references to the previous seasons intrigued me, so with the help of the internet, i got my hands on copies of season 3 (so that i don't have to wait an entire week to watch one episode. i mean, really, mediacorp, is there a need to drag it out so much by showing the performance show and the results show on separate weeks??) and started to watch like a maniac. somewhere along the line, i fell in love with a couple of dancers and that was it for me.

hi, i'm lillyelf, and i'm a sytycd-addict. my poison of choice are dominic from season 3 and mark from season 4. i can bring myself to watch dom and sabra's rumba and hip hop and mark and chelsie's argentine tango forever and ever.

...

this isn't the end.

somewhere between relief and panic

2008-07-14T17:05:00.001+08:00

you know how some days you swear the people around you are being stupid on purpose?

this is one of those days.

*mmphgfh*

i can't wait to leave.

UNEMPLOYMENT RULEZ!

where are the kids?

2008-06-20T15:56:00.004+08:00

so i've been making some plans for next year, which includes taking a course.

and i just received the pre-course task, which tells me to "think about 2 children of different ages that you know". i'm supposed to fill in the things they are interested in, what they enjoy doing.

and all i can think of is "holy crap, i don't know any kids!"

no nieces, no nephews. no neighbor's kids. no children of friends.

nada.

great...it'll be a great start with making things up for a task that i fully intended to go into my portfolio for the award. if i had known earlier, maybe i would have switched to the other course for adults instead.

the world is stupid.

staying at home cramps my style

2008-06-02T22:35:00.002+08:00

this blog is in danger of being loli-fied.

probably not that soon though, because i have no more money.

anyway, i just bought a second hand JSK(jumper skirt) today. (i asked the seller to guess my age. she guessed 20. *huge beam*) you would have thought i would be jumping for joy. but no, my mum has to pick on me about it.

yes, mum, i know you think it's a waste of money, but it's MY money i'm wasting. gawd knows how much i work just to be able to afford the things i want. it's not like your LV is worth anything besides the status symbol. i bet you wouldn't have said anything if i had gone to...to...burberry and bought some super expensive dry-clean only clothes that i would wear only once a year or less.

and also, most people don't wash their GL stuff so much because it's not meant to be washed that much. our jeans are already overwashed, leave my GL stuff alone! (i still remember what you did with my bodyline skirt.)

and get used to it. once MM gets their international shipping page working, you're going to see a lot more GL stuff. and no way are you putting them in the wash.

money is not everything

2008-05-29T11:43:00.003+08:00

but it sure can buy you happy things.

i just had my "oral exam" with the big boss, and got my "results". i've got a nice bonus and an okay increment. and also was told of a potential "ang pao", if i stayed a little longer.

i've already been so bored in my job that my bonus is all that's keeping me. After this, i know i will leave.

but the money...it does make me think a little, because if i'm going to start yet another expensive hobby, i will need some.

...

nah, it's not worth it.

closet loli

2008-05-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

i just realized i'm a closet lolita.

if only i bought that MM dress! then maybe i wouldn't be feeling so unfulfilled right now.

=(

plotting my escape

2008-05-12T12:44:00.003+08:00

the last trip that i just took a couple of days ago just convinced me of one thing:

i HAVE to go. i NEED to leave.

how else can i explain the feeling i have of not wanting to get back here? even the previous trip didn't give me this feeling.

perhaps because this time, i left when i was needed the most, when i had a whole crapload of work to do. i left anyway, and the world didn't end, and i had a great time, and i didn't want to get back to work.

and it convinces me that i have to leave now, before the good gets marred with mistakes and errors.

just a little more...

the pillowman

2008-03-27T10:31:00.001+08:00

if at age 5 (or 7, or 9), a soft entity made out completely of pillows appeared in front of you and told you about your horrible life which was to come, all the way to the point where you are about to kill yourself, would you choose to end your life there and then to save yourself from going through it?

i was very fortunate to be able to get a pair of tickets to the second run of the pillowman by srt, which started last night. my colleague had watched it last year during the first run and raved about the brilliance of the play. it had garnered a number of nominations in the local theatre awards, and i was curious to see what the hype was about.

it was a good play. there were plot twists and thought-provoking moments aplenty to keep your mind working, but honestly, i was less than impressed by the pace of the play. as my sis puts it, "i got your point, now get on with it".

that said, the parts that interested me most were the stories within the play, written by the lead character, katurian. morbid, gruesome, disturbing, the tales had children suffer through pain and hurt and no happy endings. imagine a little girl who killed her father by putting razor blades in apples and then being choked to death on little apple men. imagine a kind little boy getting his toes cut off. imagine a little girl being crucified and buried alive with 3 days' worth of air. if you can listen to these stories and not be affected, then you have a stronger stomach than i do.

in the end, probably the story of the pillowman was the mildest...and it left the deepest impression on me.

so the question at the top of this post...would you?

random things i get peeved about 3

2008-03-05T10:40:00.003+08:00

contact lens that tear in the eye.

this is the freaking second lens i've used in one week. what the hell is wrong with it!

argh...i wanna get lasik already!

3 march - hina matsuri

2008-03-03T18:30:00.003+08:00

happy 29th feb!

2008-02-29T18:14:00.002+08:00

lame-ness at its max...

hey, you only encounter it once every 4 years. (even though it's an extra day of work this year. (-______-);;;

here's something that amused me (and a few colleagues) yesterday:

o(^^ o)(o ^^)o

(o ^^)oo(^^ o)

\(^o^)/\(^o^)/

japanese emoji dancers!

random things i get peeved about 2

2008-02-21T10:15:00.002+08:00

people who think they know more than they do and unabashedly showing off their ignorance on the bus in loud conversations.

yesterday, i had the misfortune to stand next to a young couple on the way home. as we passed by an mrt station, they noticed that work was being done to open some shops at the station itself. a note of that led to the proposition that the company should purchase more trains => which "the men at the top" would not do because they drove to work and therefore does not know about the problems of the common man => the whole issue of elitism => the woman proclaiming that the reason why she did not want to go for further studies because she didn't "want to be an elite".

i snorted at the last statement. thankfully, i was plugged into my mp3 player, having frantically dug it out in the middle of their discourse on elitism, and i turned up the volume to avoid having to listen any further.

miss? if only you realize how dumb you sounded there. maybe you'll learn not to talk so loudly on a crowded bus again.

blogger's block

2008-01-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

i have been struck by a bad case of blogger's block. as a result, none of my blogs have been updated lately.

since i have nothing to write, here's a meme.

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1) live overseas for a year or more
2) learn 10 languages (10 is a nice number)
3) get married

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1) get out of work
2) get my eyes lasik-ed
3) a ds of my own

Three Names You Go By:
1) karyn
2) min
3) whatever comes to my mind at the spur of the moment (don't ask :P)

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1) lilgirl
2) lillyelf
3) sapphirenite

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1) butt
2) lower legs
3) (somewhat) flat tummy

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1) fujian chinese
2) hainan chinese
3) indonesian chinese

Three Things That Scare You:
1) being alone
2) in the dark
3) after a horror movie

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1) mp3 player
2) knitting
3) pupe.jp ^^

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) top from forever 21
2) shoes from urs
3) watch from skagen

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1) my chemical romance
2) rascal flatts
3) jay chou (what's that smirk for?)

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1) i don't love you (mcr)
2) i'm movin' on (rascal flatts)
3) 退后 (jay)

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1) security
2) love
3) plenty of hugs

Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1) height (1.75m and above only, pls)
2) nice smile
3) strong features

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1) knitting
2) gaming (present preferred platform: nintendo ds)
3) pupe-ing

Three Careers You're Considering / You've Considered:
1) banker
2) EFL teacher
3) dance teacher

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1) Hokkaido
2) LA
3) Paris

Three Kid's Names You Like:
(bleargh)

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Girl:
1) i love to wear dresses
2) i can't pass a mirror without looking
3) i check my weight almost every morning

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Boy:
1) i have a natural reluctance to shopping without a purpose
2) skin care routine? what's that?
3) pass me the controller to the ds...and the ps...and the ps2...and the wii...

mcr is love

2007-12-13T16:29:00.000+08:00

i had my first rock concert on tuesday. my chemical romance (affectionately termed mcr) was in town and i got my sis tickets as her birthday present.

and they were good. i'm sure just about everyone who listens to english radio would have heard their music. i liked most of the tracks in their 3rd album "the black parade", and a couple in their 2nd one "three cheers for sweet revenge". this mtv definitely ranks amongst my favorites.

it was scary being in the mosh pit. it was like being pushed by a freakingly strong current - no matter how firm you try to stand, there was no way to stop the flow. all of us bear bruises from trying to, but after a couple of songs of it, we gave up the fight and went to the back instead.

still, they rocked. gerard was superb and i found out that frank is hot. and "famous last words" brought out the teenager in me as i jumped and screamed like the others IN MY HEELS.

needless to say, i couldn't get out of bed the next morning and continued to ache the whole day after.

i am getting old...(T______T)

what do you get when you put a bird and 5 girls in an office?

2007-11-22T14:34:00.000+08:00

the answer is: utter and complete chaos.

we just had half an hour of post-lunch excitement when a bird apparently flew into our office without anyone noticing, us finding out only when the technicians and cleaners of the stadium walked in asking about the bird they saw "fly in on the cctv".

we denied the existence of such bird until it started to fly around the room, provoking some shrieks as we strove to get out of its way. startled by the cries and the net being swung around, the bird fluttered from wall to wall till a point when it either collapsed into the wall from fear or excitement or temporary blindness and proceeded to faint...behind my cubicle.

now for a little explanation. my working area is a stand-alone cubicle where the back wall is pushed against the wall of the office. unfortunately, when they moved it in, they misgauged and the wall of the cubicle is a few inches away from the wall of the office. it was into this gap that said bird fainted into.

4 excited girls then proceeded to climb onto my table (note: said table has no legs. it is just a board screwed into the cubicle walls. needless to say, there was panic on my end) and seeked the bird, which was apparently cramped and unable to spread its wings to get out.

worried about the possibility of bird dying behind the wall, we proceeded with a lot of "helpful" actions before reaching the solution of pulling the cubicle further from the wall to allow the bird to fly out. which worked. which resulted in more screaming before bird decided to make a smart choice for once and fly out the window.

chaos...complete chaos...*shakes head*

oryzae yeast is love

2007-11-06T14:38:00.000+08:00

this has to be the cutest opening ever.

yes, those adorable little critters are microbes (fungi and bacteria, for those who still need further explanation). i am in love with oryzae. it's the cute yellow one with all the balls bobbing its head to the music at the beginning.

oh, and chrysogenum.

(click on the picture to see the words. now tell me you don't love it too.)

the dreaded shopping...

2007-11-05T10:28:00.000+08:00

for a mobile phone, that is.

my (not-so-smart) company rewards employees for not taking too many sick leave every financial year, and this (not-so-smart) employee managed to snag a $300 "lifestyle benefit" by virtue of going to work even when sick the previous year.

yep, dumb i know. still, that's $300 that can be used on a new mobile phone.

i've never been very trendy when it comes to phones. proof? i've never spent more than $200 on a phone before. what that means is that i pick phones that no longer has the "new" or "latest" tag on it. it means a substantial amount of saving, but also means i was 1) unable to take pictures when everyone and their brother had a camera phone and 2) unable to bluetooth pictures when everyone and their sister could.

(for your information, i'm using a panasonic vs2 right now. 1 megapixel camera, no bluetooth. i use infrared.)

part of the reason for this is that i am a tech-idiot (wth is 3.5g and why should it matter to me?). the other (bigger) reason is that i like my phones to look pretty, and the phone designers never seem to be able to give me a good-looking phone with all the latest features. (case in point? the "N" brand phones. latest in everything, user-friendly interface...but the ugliest phones ever.)

anyway, since i've just reached 21 months on my contract, i've decided it's time to take the $300 and put it to good use. unfortunately...WHERE ARE ALL THE NICE LOOKING PHONES?

bah...

when the whole world seems against you

2007-10-31T09:50:00.000+08:00

i'm having cold yoghurt for breakfast on a cold morning in a cold air-conditioned room.

talk about bad beginnings...

the actor's studio meme

2007-10-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

i took this off about every little thing. lis' answers had really inspired me to do this meme myself, but it took me days because the first question really really really stumped me.

What is your favorite word?
wtf. it succintly conjures up an emotion that says so much in just 3 letters.

What is your least favorite word?
sorry.
meticulous comes a close second.

What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
having someone share my exact view on any topic. if he's a man, it's a bonus.

What turns you off?
pussy-ness. come on, be a man!

What is your favorite curse word?
the f-word. it's a genuine classic. and those who are of my generation should know about the email/article proclaiming the use of it as a verb, a noun, an adjective etc. i only use it at moments of great distress.

What sound or noise do you love?
the ringing bell of the ice-cream man as he cycles from door to door. unfortunately, he no longer exists.

What sound or noise do you hate?
more than half the songs they play on the radio. kids wailing. tone-deaf singers. any high-pitched sound that makes my teeth go on edge.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
bimbotic celebrity. it just looks so fun.
on a more realistic basis, english teacher in a non-english speaking country and/or owner of a knit cafe

What profession would you not like to do?
anything that requires me to sell what i don't believe in. insurance salesperson and personal financial consultant would come under that description.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
don't worry, you don't ever have to go back there.

ge10k complete...what's next?

2007-10-23T11:50:00.001+08:00

yes, i am a proud owner of a finisher medal.

my chip time was 1:07:58.58. i succeeded my goal of going sub-70 min!

now that that's done...when's the next 10k? =D

stupid halloween worry

2007-10-18T18:14:00.000+08:00

heh...i know this is dumb, but when you are bored, anything goes...

i read that last year, zouk's door-bitches/door-bastards made some people pay cover if they felt that the costume was not up-to-scratch.

i wonder if mine would pass.

although, with the amount of money and effort i put into it, if they try to make me pay cover, i won't let them go without a tongue-lashing.

ok, that just confirmed it, i really need my eyes. and probably lots of white paste. (and straw! i need a straw broomstick to tear apart!)

this is halloween, halloween, halloween...

2007-10-15T12:44:00.000+08:00

i haven't been this excited about a costume since...

wait...have i ever been this excited about a costume? probably not.

anyway, checklist:

cloth - check
hair - check
eyes - pending
footwear

i can't wait.

also, because i am bored and this seemed accurate:

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

before the year is out, i want...

2007-10-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

- to get my eyes lasik-ed ($$$!!)

- to get my name changed ($$)

the money we spend to make ourselves happy...

stop the invitations!

2007-10-01T14:43:00.000+08:00

everytime some new online community fad comes on, i get a whole bunch of emails inviting me to join.

now, i don't particularly mind if the one doing the inviting is a friend (not that i would join still).

but when the person inviting is someone whom i haven't spoken to in years, i think there is a serious problem.

i think the fact that we haven't spoken in years is a clear sign that we are not friends. so why would i want to "add you as a friend"?

or did you want to make it obvious that you just invited your whole address book?

stuck in the middle

2007-09-24T17:56:00.000+08:00

i've been working here for close to 2 years. this is my first "permanent" position after graduation. (i am reminded of this one interview where the interviewer actually asked me if this was my first "real" job. i felt like asking her, "so i was only pretending to work in my previous position?") i feel stagnated here, binded by the comfortable salary and position.

it's definitely time to think about moving on. unfortunately, because my present work experience, my degree and my ideal plans for the future do not match up, i need to do some serious thinking about what i want to do next.

i would like to do some future studies in an aspect that i'm interested in, that would open further roads for me, that would be worth the money and time i'm going to sink into it. i've gone through the websites of the various local universities, some overseas ones, some distance-learning ones.

those i'm interested in, i either don't qualify for or they cost too much. those i can afford and qualify for, i'm not too sure about the usefulness. sometimes it really seems like the only way to get your foot into a door is through the back door (ie with the help of someone already inside).

sometimes i wonder if it would be good for me to go back and redo my 'a' levels, just so to get a better chance at the future. to start afresh, with a better grade for my 'a's => a chance to do a better degree => a chance to get a better job.

it's a waste of time, but after being stuck for so long, it's beginning to look good. i don't want to be stagnated because i made a mistake when i was 19 to study a course i had no interest in. there must be a better way out somewhere.

changing my name

2007-09-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking about adding a name to my IC for the past few years. this year will mark the 10th year since i started using Karyn as my way of identifying myself, and i'm thinking it's about time i do something about it.

i used to like my chinese name, up till primary 5 when they switched to using the dialect name for official purposes instead of the hanyu pinyin name, and for years i had to suffer the indignity of being made fun of. my dad apparently had not realized how it would affect me. as a result, the moment i could, i had everyone call me by my new name. all throughout university and after, hardly anyone called me by my "real" name, except in classes where the teachers flatly refused to take down the names we preferred to be addressed by.

i have no intention of changing the name my parents gave me. it is, after all, given to me after consideration. i intend to just add a name so that "Karyn Ang" is a name i can start to use officially in all documents instead of just an "unofficial" name which is still disallowed in a lot of documentation.

now i just need to think about when the best time is actually do it so as to minimize the impact.

back to the ol' hum-drum

2007-09-10T12:08:00.001+08:00

i've been back for a week and lazing around since i got back. ballet classes had been cancelled for the week, same for my korean class, so i've had a lot of time to sit around and do nothing.

well, not exactly nothing. i went for the shape run yesterday in place of my dear colleague who had her competition. not a great timing for the run, since i've never taken my training seriously plus the 2 weeks break i had before that. i've learnt some things from this race, namely: 1) don't put your sunglasses into your shorts pocket before running, and 2) get some new shoes, a proper sports top and a new watch with stopwatch functions before going for the GE 10k next month. sigh...more money to be spent. i haven't even gotten the credit card bill for the trip yet and i'm not looking forward to getting it.

i'm feeling a bit lazy to put up a long post about my trip (i might regret this later, but the truth is nothing interesting happened to me the whole trip and i haven't any inspiration to try and write something interesting), so i'll just put up a couple of pictures.

pas de deux class

the skirt would have cost US$40 IF i had the inclination to buy it

my favorite musical ever! go avenue q!

set of rent the musical, taken just before the show started

times square, just outside the m&m store, with sexy green making an appearance

messy, i know. i may decide on a proper post later on. anyhow, this trip really convinced me that i really want to get out of this country. maybe it's time to really just take my money and go? i need to do my research.

on my way...

2007-08-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

40 minutes left till the plane departs. i love having free internet access in the airport, don't you?

i've been waiting for this day for months...now that i'm here, hope everything goes as planned and i'll be refreshed and ready to continue life back home.

cya when i cya :)

preparation to go...

2007-08-16T17:48:00.000+08:00

i spent a couple of hours last night watching sex and the city. do you think i can consider that as "research"? haha...

i want...

2007-08-13T17:09:00.001+08:00

tickets for the following shows:

- avenue q (the internet is for p0rn!)
- the fantasticks (swash-buckling action!)
- rent (i missed it when it came)

i wouldn't mind watching chicago again, or hairspray, but those 3 i think i will try my best to catch when i'm there.

i can't wait.

some things never change

2007-08-10T19:15:00.000+08:00

years of taking the MBTI later, i'm still an I and still a P (what on earth is a P anyway?):

You Are An ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily.
You have an underlying love for all living things, and it's easy for you to accept someone into your heart.

At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive

What's Your Personality Type?

and the pretty boys are all gay...

2007-07-31T20:01:00.000+08:00

so what hope is there for women if all the pretty ones are gay? sighz...

fangirl-ing...

2007-07-28T22:58:00.001+08:00

i seldom fangirl, but when i do, i really become a rabid fangirl. the last time it happened was for F4...i was one of those idiot girls who queued for hours to hold their hands :P (okay, that was embarrassing to admit.)

sad to say, i feel the fangirl in me waking up. i don't want to imagine what kind of silly things i'll be doing next...

*edit to add*

well, that didn't last long, did it?

happy endings: asian boys vol 3 - a review

2007-07-27T11:21:00.000+08:00

one of the (very few) perks of working here is the occasional dramatic treat. this year, i've had a chance to catch a couple of plays by local companies - titoudao by toy factory and blithe spirit by w!ld rice. yesterday, i had the good fortune to catch the latest offering by w!ld rice, happy endings: asian boys vol 3.

this show was not on my radar of "shows-to-watch". in fact, i ignored every advertisement on it (despite being a friend of w!ld rice and having access to early bird discounts). not that i'm homophobic...i just wasn't interested in a play where (i thought) the selling point was the fact that it is based on a topic considered "taboo". but when my colleague procured a couple of tickets to the show and invited me to go, i thought it was too good a chance to miss and agreed to watch it with her.

i'm glad i did. the story was moving, captivating, and made me think. it wasn't just about homosexuality, it was about a lot more: growing up, finding yourself, seeking love, understanding people-to-people relationship...so many things that i can identify with. as ivan heng, director, said in the promotional video, "you'll see yourself on stage."

(note: i know a lot of other bloggers have linked this clip, but this is probably the only link that would still remain because both w!ld rice and sistic will remove their webpages once the show is over.)

i did...and my heart ached as i saw myself in chris' happiness when ken first held his hand, in sylvia's pain as she tried to keep her dignity when chris asked for a breakup, in the longing in ken and chris' voices in their last phone conversation.

but that wasn't all that made me love the play. there were a lot of funny bits in the play (302B? 302A?) that made me giggle with delight. alfian sa'at is an excellent playwright...his gems of humor amused me to no end, and the cast was wonderful in their portrayals of their characters.

ben xiao was excellent as both joe, the author and chris, the protagonist of the novel joe was writing. i could be a bit biased because of his looks *grinz* but he had the fresh-faced, innocent look that was perfect as the uncertain, confused chris. pierre goh as attractive, charismatic kenneth widjaya was a (eye-candyish)pleasure to watch, and genevieve lim as schoolgirl leader/debate team captain sylvia reminded me exactly of the overachieving rafflesian i knew from my secondary school days.

honestly, i will never be able to put in words my feelings for the play. i can only hope that i will never forget the joy i felt, watching it for the first time and the acute pleasure at seeing the story unfold in front of my eyes. go watch it...it is a brilliant play. (oh, and i want to read peculiar chris!)

(final note: i was reminded of the only other local play i know that i had the privilege to be involved in. and clips of my jc days, of staying late for rehearsals, of memorizing lines, of wardrobe hunting, of playing gin rummy backstage and praying for a good show at curtain call etc...flashed by. ah...those were the days...)

gearing up

2007-07-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

not a running post this time. although...i'm going to have to make up a run tomorrow since i didn't run on tuesday.

no, i'm gearing up for a job change. the 2 interviews back-to-back this week convinced me that i'm happier seeking another job than staying where i am. thank goodness most companies accept email resumes...i can just imagine the trouble and cost to send copies of all my certificates all over the place.

i passed my M5 exam just an hour ago. it was scary pressing on the "finish" button...i had about 20 answers which i weren't sure about (passing mark is 75), but after i answered everything and went through all the questions a couple of times, i didn't think it was going to do me any good to sit and think (i had 1 more hour to reconsider all my answers) .it was a relief when the screen told me i passed. definitely been too long since i needed to use my brain for any exam...

unfortunately, my stupid brain seems to be going through the interview today, coming up with new answers to the questions i answered. *knocks head in an attempt to clear it out* i really do want the job, but if they don't appreciate that i'm so keen on it that i'm willing to take a pay cut to join them...then maybe it's for the better.

so...job search in earnest now! ganbatte!

interviews...ugh...

2007-07-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

i hate interviews.

oh, i know everyone else hates them too.

but i really really loathe them. because i have to admit, i really plain suck at them. half the items in my resume are so long ago that when i'm asked about them, i can't remember anything useful.

and i end up making up half the things that come out of my mouth.

i just have to pray something goes right tomorrow and i'll have a new job waiting for me soon enough.

still running...

2007-07-21T18:39:00.000+08:00

this is the 3rd week since i've started training, and i'm proud to say i have not been skivving at all. i run twice a week, usually on tuesday and one other day, while still going for 2 ballet classes a week. wow...i really am proud of myself...

anyway, having joined sgrunners, a local runners' forum, i found out about this nifty little website that allows me to map my run and measure the distance i ran without having to resort to using the street directory and a piece of string.

i just ran 5.89km without stopping. amazing...maybe 10k isn't impossible after all.

next expected race? the swissotel vertical marathon in nov. wanna run with me? watch this space...

random things i get peeved about

2007-07-20T12:45:00.000+08:00

why are there 11 seats in a row in the Indoor Stadium?

jacky in concert

2007-07-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

now i wasn't planning to go for the concert at all, though i did have a little urge to buy a ticket when i first heard about it. but not having anybody to go with plus the steep prices had me putting that idea out of my mind despite the adding of 2 shows.

until a recent youtube encounter with my favorite jacky song which made me cry.

using my privilege, i found out that there was 1 last seat in the lowest price category which wasn't in too bad a position. so, since i had just received my bonus, plus a little egging from k, i bought a ticket and attended the concert last night.

jacky really deserves his title of 歌神. for 3 solid hours, he sang his hits in both mandarin and cantonese. sad to say, i didn't enjoy them as much as some of his fans did, since my favorite songs were the less well-known ones (like 她来听我的演唱会 above, 忘了哭, 结束不是我要的结果...ok, fine, i like the sappy you-don't-love-me songs (>.<).) but he was fantastic anyway.

his voice is still as amazing as ever, and he is just so personable that you can't help but love him. if you're going for his concert, you'll definitely enjoy it.

good luck, bro

2007-07-13T11:34:00.000+08:00

it's not even 12 and i'm already falling asleep onto my laptop. this doesn't bear well for the rest of the day, does it?

i was really exhausted last night, so much so that i didn't manage to get any studying done at all.(except for what i managed to read on the bus on the way home, but i nearly dozed off then too. it certainly doesn't help that the chapter i'm reading is really a bunch of technical terms that require phrasing and re-phrasing to make sense of the sentences.)

anyway, i fell asleep in a daze last night, and woke up this morning to a bustle of activity at 6am. bro left this morning for perth for the next phase of his pilot training, and since it's 10 months long this time, the whole family wanted to be there to send him off.

bro and i were close, though probably not as close as my younger sis and him. the three of us used to be really tight until life (and love) made it harder for us to hang out together very often. he's a real gentlemen...smart, articulate and funny, and i really love him for being the man that he is. yes, proud sister here.

good luck, bro. don't come back too early, you hear? we'll see you in december.

reinventing myself

2007-07-12T11:29:00.000+08:00

at the grand old age of 2x (hey, either you know it or you don't), i have decided that i am bored with me and will now try to make myself as different as possible from the person i was.

well...not really. i'm just trying to try different things. i've changed some aspects of my life, added some stuff, taken some stuff out...hopefully that will make me a more interesting person and i'll fit into my skin better. here's the list:

1) change my appearance

yes, after eons of curly-wurly-unruly hair, i've rebonded my hair. for years, i have been advised not to do so because i have very fine hair and a round face. as it turns out, almost everyone who saw the "drastic" change agree that i look a lot better with rebonded hair and in one case, i was even told that i "should have done so earlier". yea, i should have. i save a lot of time fighting with my hair in the mornings now.

2) get more active

throughout most of my school days, i was a homebody. i would go home after school/ecas and just stare at the google box, play playstation games (yes, i am a female gamer and i'm proud of it), do cross-stitch, read, or any of indoor activities that doesn't require physical exertion. then i took up dancing, joined a gym (which i subsequently quitted) and attempted to add more exercise into my life. now i've progressed to the next stage, where i'm preparing to take part in races, and i plan to add even more activities into my life. better to do try them now while my bones are still able to take it...

3) revamp my wardrobe

i admit, i've always been a closet auntie. i don't like to pay very much for clothes, or accessories, or shoes. in fact, i've never really liked shopping. i don't care how i dress on my days off, can't be bothered with makeup on weekends.

then i discovered that i'm not that bad-looking and i do look good in some outfits.

so there has been a period of shopping, resulting in new dresses and shoes (i own more shoes now than any other period in my life). i now do find some kind of pleasure in making myself look good, and i like hearing "you look good!" from my friends and colleagues. shopping is still a hassle, but it really can be great to find something that suits me.

4) travel more

there will be more travel in my life. the good thing about working is that you get enough cash to do the things you like to do, and i've always loved to travel. besides the US trip planned in august, there's the planned KL shopping trip at the end of this month and a possible taiwan and perth trip in the not-too-distant future.

i still have my dream of moving overseas for a few years too.

5) party more

as a homebody (see point 2), i missed out a lot of fun during my uni days. so, since i have younger gals around me who are party-goers, i tag along and enjoy the fun i never had, like our occasional ladies' nights. especially since i don't have that many years before i might not get in the door.

6) change jobs

no elaboration needed! (>_<)

like a square peg in a round hole

2007-07-10T14:35:00.001+08:00

it's a horrible feeling when you feel like you don't belong. i've felt it often enough, especially throughout my schooling years. things became better when i started working when belonging to a clique mattered less than your ability to get things done.

but when you feel that you no longer belong in your job, in your position, then it becomes a little more difficult. you want to leave, but you can't because you need the cash, the bonus, the experience, etc, etc...

it's a very painful feeling. and so the job search will become a little more desperate, a little more earnest, and alternative plans will have to be made.

and one more thing...when you work with incompetent people? you either need a lot of patience, or you really need a new job really really fast so that you can slap them the way they need to be slapped.

making plans for the future

2007-07-08T23:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really don't understand blogger. the title bar gives me headaches each time i want to post, then it fixes itself. maybe it's a sign i should switch to some other blogging website.

anyway, back to the topic of the day. and it is...the future. yes, i'm busy making plans for my future again. it seems like i keep making new plans which keep getting postponed/cancelled due to ongoing circumstances, but i've finally made one which will (hopefully) last me for a few years.

first things first though...i need a new job. and not just any new job. i need one back in my old industry, in a place that allows growth. it's the only place where i foresee myself working for a number of years instead of the 2-3 years' timeline i'm working with at the moment.

i know i haven't been working very long at my present company, but the bads very often outnumber the goods, and there are absolutely no growth prospects here. if i want a place where i can continue to grow and learn over the next few years, i need to move.

now i just need to get my foot in somehow...

all hyped up about running

2007-07-07T22:35:00.001+08:00

saturdays are always busy days for me. with my korean class in the morning and usually a dance class in the afternoon, i'm always worn out by the time i get home. today was supposed to be a change for me. k and i were planning to go to sentosa for some fun in the sun, but the rain this morning put an end to that plan. (T_T)

because of that, i'm going to be in pain for the rest of tonight and very likely the whole of tomorrow as well. adding a tough stretching class to 4.5km jogged last night is almost certain to kill me. i hope i can still walk tomorrow

now this is a strange thing...i had been looking for something new to occupy me and i think i found it - running and taking part in races may be the next big thing in my life.

the funny thing is, i've never been one to run in the first place. i hated to run when i was a student...i would do the minimum and never extra. but for some strange reason, i'm actually getting excited about doing the great eastern women 10k run in october...and maybe even the stanchart marathon at the end of the year (not the full one, i'm thinking about the 10k or at most, the half marathon).

then again, this might be another of those 三分钟热度 interests i have had so many of. let's see if i'm still running a month from now.

do i look different?

2007-07-06T11:43:00.000+08:00

i took some passport-sized photos yesterday. (yes, i know you know why i took the pictures, just don't say it out loud!) comparing them with the last set of photos i took (when i was applying for my present job), i wonder...how much have i changed?

well, my eyes are still as small and my eyebags seem to have increased in size...and let's not go into the chubbiness of my cheeks and the roundness of my face. (-_-)"

still, considering that there is close to 2 years' difference between the pictures, which one do i look better in? or more importantly, which one do i look younger in?

free food and booze at timbre \(^ ^)/

2007-07-06T10:37:00.000+08:00

thank god it's friday! another week has passed and the weekend is here again. k and i had a great time last night at timbre and shopping at bugis street after that.

what were we doing at timbre on a thursday night in the first place? well, that's one of the perks of my job. we were there for the press launch of WOMAD 07. it was a cool place, and WOMAD is a cool event with great music. i wish i would be around during the festival....phooey.

this was my first press launch since i joined the company...i missed out on a lot of them because all the major accounts i worked on belonged to someone else first. i nearly missed out on this too, because i was half-considering to give the account to someone else, but i'm glad i stuck with it. even if i can't be there, at least i got to enjoy myself last night. the food was good, and the drinks were free! \(^ ^)/

k and i shopped at bugis street after that and bought a dress each. i loved the dress i bought, but found out that i was missing a ribbon only when i got home, so i'm going to have to make my way down again today to get it.

friday nights are usually quiet for me. i got an invite to go to arena at clarke quay tonight, but i think i'll go home and go for a jog instead. there's only 6 weeks till my trip, i really should get myself fitter before i leave. and my korean homework isn't done yet...and there's the M5 exam to study for...

my new blog!

2007-07-05T10:49:00.000+08:00

i'm a blogger. have been for years. but i've never ever put up my face, my name or anything that i can be identified easily by on any of my blogs.

but now i wonder, why not? i want a place where i can talk about what i did today, where i went, who i met...ergo, new blog! ^_^

this blog will chronicle my trials and tribulations, my ups and downs as i stumble my way through this long journey called "life".